Date nights shouldn’t stop when you get married.
When you have kids.
Or even when the kids move out.
But sometimes…..it does.
Things are expensive.
Time is short.
And everyone is tired.
Also, coming up with new ideas that you haven’t done before can get tricky.
My husband and I have been together over 20 years. During those 20 years, dates have ranged from prom to dinner to trips to Costco without the kids. We’ve been financially stable, too poor to buy steak dinners, and everything in between. We’ve added kids to the mix, been separated while I was in the hospital for months and worked ourselves to exhaustion.
And through it all, we still wanted to find ways to sepnd time together.
No matter what we were doing….that was the goal. To be together. And focused on each other.
And we’ve come up with some pretty creative ideas, most of them low-prep and high in quality time.
Here’s our list of 75 cheap or free date night ideas:
1. Go out to dinner (try BOGO deals, share a pizza, or order the special). Dinner doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive to be important.
2. Go on a local hike. Something easy that gets you out and moving…unless you both enjoy a more challenging trail. Try different trails, visit nearby areas, or just wander around in a canyon. (Be sure to always be properly prepared, tell someone where you are going and when you will be back, and watch the weather).
3. Walk the local farmer’s market. Try samples. Learn about new foods. Talk to farmers. Buy something to use with dinner.
4. Window shop together. Walking the mall but not buying anything more than a treat is one of our favorite things to do.
5. After the kids go to bed, turn in some music and dance in the kitchen
6. Stay in and watch a movie together. Something new, something old and comforting, or something important to both of you. Pop popcorn, grab some candy, and make sure you have drinks. Many libraries let you check out movies for free, and streaming services you are already paying for don’t cost any more if you watch one more movie.
7. Read the same book for a week or two and discuss it with each other.
8. Take a shower together…and maybe more
9. Dress up in fun costumes or nice clothes and go somewhere ridiculous for the outfit. Like….maybe a top hat and ballgown at Walmart. Or matching dinosaur costumes at In-N-Out Wear that old Halloween costume or that fancy dress you never get to wear.
10. Get some ice cream together and just sit and chat while eating it (this was our favorite hospital date)
11. Sit on the porch together and slowly drink your favorite drinks while you talk or snuggle quietly
12. Go on an all-out snack run and sneak the goods into your bedroom so the kids don’t see. Lock the door and have a secret snack break with each other
13. Pick up a cheap dinner (fast food, to-go order) and go to a park to eat it together. Or sneak outside in the backyard while the kids play and eat, just the two of you.
14. Go clothes shopping together. You need new clothes anyways, right? Stick to your normal budget, but make it fun and tell each other how hot those new clothes look.
15. Play old video games together. Even if you’re not good, it’s so much fun. (Boomerang-fu is my favorite)
16. Play a board or card game you already have.
17. Make snacks at home. Cookies, cupcakes, Chex-mix, ice cream, roasted veggies, whatever you like.
18. Wrap Christmas gifts in pajamas while watching a Christmas movie together.
19. Attend a party together. At a friend’s house, a work party, whatever (free food, free fun)
20. Go to Barnes and Noble (or a local bookstore), grab some coffee, and wander among the shelves. You don’t even have to buy a book. Just browse.
21. Go to a local park and play. Swing on the swings, go down the slide, try to fling each other off those spinning things.
22. Try a new craft, hobby, or art form together. Even if you are both awful, you will laugh together.
23. Get a sitter and stay at a cheap, local motel for the night. Make sure it’s safe, but it doesn’t have to be fancy.
24. Sit by the fire and snuggle under a warm blanket talking about your day after the kids are in bed, or before they get up.
25. Find a free or inexpensive museum nearby and learn some things together. A lot of colleges, community centers, and libraries offer museums or art galleries, and smaller, local museums can be cheaper to visit but still be packed with cool old stuff.
26. Have your own, private Halloween dress-up night at home.
27. Go swimming.
28. Make a new meal together at home and eat it by candlelight. Even if it’s just mac-n-cheese, the candles make it special and fun. I promise.
29. Pack a picnic and go eat somewhere pretty….or even in your backyard.
30. Sit outside and watch the clouds, or the stars together.
31. Miniature golf.
32. Bowling.
33. Go to an arcade and get a $5 or $10 pass. Shoot aliens, fight dinosaurs, and hit moles on the head together.
34. Sit in the car in the driveway and talk. Or make out.
35. Set a spending limit ($5, $10, $20) and buy gifts for each other. Something small, but that will bring a smile to the other’s face. I get a lot of chocolate this way.
36. Watch the sunrise or set.
37. Turn the lights off, snuggle in bed, and talk. About anything and everything.
38. Build a blanket fort or put up a tent in the living room after the kids are in bed. Sleep in your tent together.
39. Do something special to you. Listen to the music from your wedding, re-do your first date, look through your photo albums.
40. Tell each other stories from your childhood.
41. Make a list of things you want to do together someday. Add things even if they seem out of reach now. Dream building helps you get on the same page, prioritize both your goals, and gives you motivation to work together.
42. Go to a local play at a small community theater or high school. Tickets are usually $15 or less, but some of the shows are really good.
43. Grab dinner at a food truck and eat together at the park.
44. Match up your lunchbreaks and have lunch together.
45. Go to a local concert, outdoor movie night, festival, or fair. Many of these are held in public places and free to attend. If you want to save money, eat before you go so you aren’t tempted by the snacks and stay away from vendor booths unless you have a ton of self-control.
46. Sew Renaissance Fair costumes together. It’s a process, let me tell you. Fun, frustration, laughing, mistakes, and eventually, a finished product you are proud of. It can be a months-long project that you work on at the same time. Visit a local thrift store or yard sales to find clothes, sheets, or old curtains to save money on fabric.
47. Wear your costumes to the Renaissance Fair. Or, go in your jeans and T-shirt.
48. Get popcorn from the movie theater and bring it home to watch your favorite show together. We do this when we can’t get a babysitter for the kids, but want the movie theater experience. The best part is, you can wear your pj’s and no one cares!
49. Go to a restaurant and order just desserts. Or share a big dessert.
50. Let the kids watch cartoons Saturday morning while you two ‘sleep in’.
51. Tourist Night- go out in your town and do some of the tourist-type things.
52. Outdoor statue hunt- Grab a drink (e.g. coffee, soda, smoothies) and drive around your area looking for outdoor art. Parks, historical markers, outdoor galleries. Talk about your favorite pieces and chat while you are driving in between sites.
53. Hold a no-screen night. Put away the phones, turn off the TV’s, and avoid all electronic distractions. It’s ok if you don’t have plans other than no-screen time together. You will figure out what to do together.
54. Learn a new skill together. Look for free or cheap local activities. Check your community center. Ask local businesses about couples/date nights. Pottery, dance, blacksmithing, candle making, painting, self-defense, join a book club, host a DND game, whatever interests you both. Or, take turns learning about the other’s interests by attending one of the things they already do.
55. Complement/Memory Jars. Sit down together with an empty jar, some small pieces of paper, and a couple pens. Write down things you love about your spouse and add them to a jar just for them while they do the same for you. Or…share a jar and write down your favorite memories together. Decorate and store your jar somewhere in your home and go through it when one of you is having a bad day….or when you’re mad at each other.
56. Photo scavenger hunt. Make a list of 20-30 shapes, objects, or local attractions. For example, a heart-shape in nature, a yellow flower, a statue of an animal. Then, spend time together looking around town for things that fit the list and snap a picture. You could do this as a team effort or turn it into a competition.
57. If you’re both awake in the middle of the night, get up and make a treat together or go buy one, bring it home, and eat together.
58. Cupcake decorating.
59. Gingerbread house decorating.
60. Pumpkin carving.
61. Easter egg dying.
62. Snow man building. Snowball fight.
63. Bracket night. Choose a category (e.g. movies), create brackets by listing several items in that category and pitting them against each other (e.g. Harry Potter vs. Percy Jackson, Jurassic Park vs. Pride and Prejudice, Rush Hour vs. Die Hard). Have a friendly discussion about each bracket. Repeat with the winners until you have a single, clear winner.
64. Volunteer together. Spend time at a local food bank, clothing donation center, animal shelter….wherever you can serve together.
65. Go fishing. (Check local laws and regulations)
66. Costco food court. Cheap food, window shopping, no planning required.
67. Laser tag. Team up or go against each other.
68. Shooting range. Get some practice time in together.
69. I mean….I think #69 speaks for itself
70. Universal foods date. Order or cook foods from different countries. Or choose one per date and go through the list. Universal Yums is my favorite place to order treats from around the world. They have subscriptions, but if you’re on a budget you can also buy individual items here.
71. Go to a grocery store different than your normal one. Buy items you’ve never tried before to make dinner, and maybe a few treats or a dessert.
72. Take the laptop or portable DVD player. Park your car/truck out in the middle of nowhere. Watch a movie snuggled up together. Bring snacks.
73. Go out for breakfast. Breakfast can be as inexpensive or expensive as you want. It could just be coffee and donuts.
74. Slideshow night. Make slideshows (or posterboards) separately about you as a couple. Topics could include: what I love about you, what’s going right in our marriage, how far we’ve come, memory lane, or anything you can think of. Bake treats and present your slideshows to each other in a cheesy grade-school style.
75. Secret mission day (or week). Sit down together and write down several ideas for secret missions. Secret missions should be small things that you each can do at no cost to help each other feel loved. For example, ask for 5 hugs today, smile at me, do one of my chores, make me a bedtime drink, hold my hand in the car, etc. You can also add above PG rated things, if you want. Put them in two bowls/jars. At the start of secret mission day/week, each person chooses one of the secret missions from the bowl their spouse wrote. It can be a blind grab, or you can look at them and see what works into the day. Once each of you have a secret mission, spend the day/week trying to focus on that thing without your partner figuring out which secret mission you chose. Have fun trying to guess which one they got as they try the same thing.