Abigail Adams, like most women in history, is best known for being married to her husband, John Adams. We know a lot about John and other founding fathers. However, founding mothers like Abigail were just as active and important in winning the revolution and building the country as their male counterparts.
And though her marriage to John would likely be at the top of her list if someone interviewed her about her life, we really miss some amazing things when that is all we learn about her.
Abigail was not only a devoted wife, but also a protective mother, a fearless defender of liberty, and and integral part of building the American nation.
She was a woman warrior in every aspect of her life.
A Couple in Love: John and Abigail Adams
John and Abigail loved each other with one of those fairy-tale type loves. And we know this because when they were apart, they constantly wrote letters to each other which have since been published. In fact, you can read them here. When they were together, everyone around them could see how much they adored each other. In fact, many noted John’s disgust at Ben Franklin’s reputation for chasing random women. John simply couldn’t understand why anyone would want shallow, meaningless relationships when they could have what he and Abigail had.
John and Abigail were married for 54 years, until Abigail’s death. During this time they raised children, ran a farm, lived abroad together, basically adopted a grieving Thomas Jefferson, spent time apart, discussed and managed politics, and shaped the forming nation. They remained loyal and devoted to each other, creating a lasting example of what love can be.
Without Abigail, there would’ve been no John. She encouraged him, supported him, traveled with him, and kept everything running when he had to be absent from home. She kept his spirits up by matching his humor with her own wit and ensuring him that, even when things were difficult, they were fighting on the right side.
A Political Advisor
Though women were often left at home during this time period, Abigail Adams educated herself and was very smart. Her intelligence was one of the things that attracted John to her. Throughout their marriage he valued her opinions and ideas as much as his own and often asked for her council. In a time when women were expected to be silent, Abigail’s marriage gave her an outlet for her strong voice and an opportunity to make a difference. She perfected John’s speeches, analyzed policies with him, and protected the ideals and principles that America was built on without compromise. Though she did not attend meetings, her husband’s respect for her opinion meant that his voice often echoed hers and, at times, even changed based on her feedback. In this way, Abigail indirectly shaped her husband’s actions during the war and the nation’s policies after.
During her husband’s presidency, Abigail did not take the typical First Lady role of a silent hostess. Though she spent time running the household and visiting with concerned citizens, she continued to be outspoken in politics, even engaging in debates and criticizing her husband’s foes publicly.
A Homemaker and Homesteader
During the revolution, John spent years overseas working to gather allies for the cause. After the war, he was away during congressional meetings. At times, even some of the children went away with him.
While they were away, Abigail Adams held down the farm, kept the house running, managed the finances, and kept life going for the children. The Adam’s were disgusted by slavery and, though they had paid servants, never kept slaves. Yet the farm and finances never suffered when John was away, the homestead never fell into disrepair, and the children never went unloved or uneducated. Though her workload must’ve been overwhelming, she worked so that John could become the founding father that he was.
The White House was built during her husband’s presidency, and Abigail was the first to open it for visitors. White House staff noted that she got up early and worked all day to keep the household running and in a respectable state.
A Fierce Mother
Over the marriage, six children came to the family. Two died at young ages, which were devastating losses for both John and Abigail Adams.
Abigail agreed with John’s belief that the nation had to be won for the future of their children. They wanted freedom for future generations. Which meant not only bearing the burden of war, but educating their children throughout it. Abigail was greatly involved in her children’s learning and, though they sometimes went to schools, mainly taught them herself. She ensured that both her sons and daughters were well-rounded and educated in both academics and moral behavior. Her Christian faith drove her in instilling a sense duty, honor, and hard-work in each of her children.
While both parents worked hard to give their children every opportunity, Abigail was often the one implementing these plans and making sure the kids followed through. She was known for being firm with her children and having high expectations, while also being loving and supportive. Just like her love for John, no one ever questioned her love for her children.
Like any mother, she worried about her children’s health and safety, especially during the war. With their father gone and battles near their home, she tried to protect them from the horrors of the world. Rather than sheltering them from everything, however, Abigail knew that the children would one day be adults. While she hoped they would never have to face a war, she knew that teaching them about tyranny and oppression, and the sacrifices made to stop it, was a necessary part of their education. She worked to prepare them to meet hardships with strength, honesty, and faith and encouraged them to show gratitude for the freedoms that were bought at a high cost. Her most well-known son, President John Quincy Adams credited her for his sense of duty and ethics.
A Wartime “Spy”
With everything she was carrying, this amazing woman still took it upon herself to observe, discuss, and report on anything happening around her that may aid the American cause during the Revolutionary War. Many of the battles and troop movements occurred near her home, allowing her to pass information to her husband. She read papers, discussed politics with people around her, and assessed the sentiment of colonists. She also spent time talking to British officers, some of which visited her home. As smart as she was, she was able to track patterns, note connections, and pass helpful information along to her husband. John trusted her and, in turn, passed along this information to where it would be most useful. While she never truly went undercover as a spy, she was responsible for gathering intelligence that helped in the war effort from her own hometown.
A Woman Activist
In addition to running a farm, raising children, supporting her husband, and helping with the war effort, Abigail Adams fought for women at a political level. She urged her husband to build the new nation around laws that protected women’s rights, as well as men’s, famously reminding him to “Remember the ladies,” as he formed policies.
While she didn’t outline exactly what she meant, she often talked about protecting women from authority their husbands had over them. She witnessed many women around her endure abuse and control from their husbands after marriage. At this time, few women had any legal recourse in these situations. Abigail’s marriage to John showed her how much stronger a marriage was when it was based on mutual respect and equality of opinions. She argued that giving husbands legal power above that of wives amounted to tyranny in the home, which was no better than tyranny over a nation. She also warned that if women had no say in the laws made, they may refuse to accept them in the long run, just as the colonial army rejected laws that were forced upon them. In short, Abigail spoke up for legal protections and respect within marriage.
Though many people see women of the past as passive and silent, Abigail was truly a woman warrior. Her intelligence, outspoken personality, determination, uncompromising morals, and love for her family helped America win its freedom and build itself after the war. Her unwavering strength in everyday tasks like running a farm on her own, educating her children, supporting her husband’s work, and speaking up for the oppressed make her one of my biggest historical heroes.
*For more 4th of July fun, read my blog 10 Fourth of July History Facts for Kids